What Happens When You Find Out Your Ex Just Died

No hyperbole, just lessons learned from processing the experience

A wilted pink rose that has lost all of its petals, which are covering a white surface
A wilted pink rose that has lost all of its petals, which are covering a white surface
Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

If not being emotionally attached and thinking it was also a big deal sounds contradictory, you’re probably right, but emotions are not often logical.

So even though I hadn’t really thought of this ex-girlfriend for a vast majority of the past 18 years, it’s always a weird thing to suddenly be confronted by the death of someone who you dated seriously, even if it was only for a few months.

I wish I could tell her how sorry I am for wasting her time. Sorry for not being thoughtful, for treating her poorly, for often putting my friends and status over her. And even though I wouldn’t expect her to accept the apology, I would want to make it.

I was an especially terrible boyfriend when I was with Beth, and while she definitely wasn’t perfect or without fault, I do realize that I was a total fuckboy at the time who was immature and didn’t value her nearly as much as a boyfriend should have.

Maybe the lesson is that we need to treat people well while they’re still alive. That even if we’re not meant to be life partners, we should remember that people are still people, and that everyone deserves kindness and care.

Perhaps this is not really about grieving the death of an ex. Perhaps it’s about realizing how fortunate it is to be alive.

Exploring trust, leadership, art, business, skeeball, and horror fiction — Co-Founder, https://spotlighttrust.com + Coach @ altMBA + www.kaijucoaching.com.

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