My Son is a Stuffed Cat And I Don’t Care Anymore

A reclamation of the right to not have kids or pets

A photo of my son, Mochi

Yes, you read that right, I have a son, and he’s a stuffed cat.

Not like a once-living cat that has died and been preserved with chemicals and stuffing. Like a stuffed animal cat. Some might call him a “Beanie Baby,” and if you looked through photos of Beanie Babies online, you might recognize him as a Pounce.

However, even if my son’s species is Pounce, his name is Mochi Socks Skylar Kitagawa, and I guarantee you that he looks different from online photos of other Pounces. After all, what father wouldn’t recognize his own son in a room full of random kids?

Now before you start making assumptions about the state of my mental health, I’m well aware that the stuffed animal I recognize as my son is totally an inanimate object.

Regardless, I’m taking a stand for people who willingly choose not to have human children or fur babies aka pets. Don’t get me wrong, kids and pets are great. All my friends have human children, and they’re adorable. Most of my other coupled friends who don’t have kids have pets. I love dogs and I had one growing up. But the thing about living creatures that rely on you for their healthy, safety, and mental well-being, is that they rely on you for their health, safety, and mental well-being.

Call us selfish, but my partner and I don’t want to have kids that are going to ruin our sleep, distract us from doing the creative work we want to do, or siphon resources that we could use to further our own passion projects. We don’t want pets interrupting our flexible schedules with their needs of being let out or walked or fed or bathed.

Call us irresponsible, but I feel like taking care of living creatures when you’d rather be making art, building businesses, and traveling (you know, after we get a handle on COVID) is pretty irresponsible to me. If I did have human children, I’d want to make sure to do it right, and provide the love, time, and attention that I believe children deserve. I’d want to make sure that my pets get enough attention and care, are walked enough, snuggled enough, and are properly taken care of.